For this reviewer is no ordinary reviewer.
I am not a reviewer who is beholden to the filmic experience in any shape or form. In the cinema, I see no evil, hear no evil, sit through no evil, buy no evil, eat no evil. Where the filmic act presents itself, I am absent. No film shall pass by my ears, eyes nor mouth.
Yet this absence, paradoxically, is enabling. I need not wait for blocks to bust to pick up the pieces. I need not skirt legality by cruising YouTubes to exhume celluloid long past its cell/uloid-by-date. I need not divert precious time from writing about film - the primary goal of any self-proclaimed reviewer - to waste it watching it.
I reject the 'necessary' relation between reviewer and the reviewed. I shall review but there shall be no reviewed. I am a reviewer and that is all there can be to it.